I Guess We’ll Find Out

I’m a worrier. Always have been, as far back as I can remember. Those “what ifs” can get vicious. And so, one of the most important things I learned while travelling is the ability to say, “I guess we’ll find out.”

Will I have enough time to make this connecting flight? I guess we’ll find out. What if I miss it? I guess we’ll find out. Would they send my backpack without me? I guess we’ll find out.

However, IGWFO only works in situations over which I have absolutely no control. When I’m stuck in traffic, when I’m travelling, when I’ve done everything I can, it is brilliant for stopping the circular, racing thoughts (oh hai, anxiety).

There is nothing I can do. I guess we’ll find out.

But, if I have even the slightest bit of agency, all bets are off.

What if Hapax-the-Novel flops? IGWFO doesn’t work here. This particular flavour of worrying is almost a really bizarre optimism. If there is any possible way at all that I can actually do something, you can bet my brain will seize on the chance that maybe we won’t have to find out.

So, what if Hapax-the-Novel flops? OMG we need to do more promoting – what else could we do, who else can we talk to, OMG are we doing enough? Are we doing too much? Not enough? What if we – what if people – what if – what if – what if….

Ah, what if: the writer’s favourite question.

But in all seriousness, it’s good to distinguish between things that I should worry about, and things that I really can’t worry about. Three separate accidents on the bus route that takes me to work? Nothing I can do. Book coming out and now we need to drive sales? Yep, I can do things
to help that.

Will this bridge hold? I swear, my gravestone will say, “She found out.”

It’s not perfect. But in twenty-one years, it’s the best thing I’ve discovered for managing my own worrying.

So. How will the next few weeks and months go?

I guess we’ll find out.

Posted on October 22, 2012, in Travel, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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