Thinking of the Future

My life seems to change drastically every seven years or so. We’re not quite due for a shake-up yet, but it’s been on my mind. Maybe it’s the whole “turning 26” thing. My friends are buying houses, getting married, having babies. Stuff’s getting real…

…whilst I continue to frolic about like a bohemian Peter Pan.  There’s a quotation from the end of Barrie’s book that haunts me:

[Peter] had ecstasies innumerable that other children can never know; but he was looking through the window at the one joy from which he must be forever barred.

I’m fine.

But then I started actually thinking about the future. I have no idea how things are going to end up, and it seems a bit silly to fret too much. It all changes every seven years, right?

And so I started thinking slightly differently. Not what will happen?

What do I want for myself?

I’ve never cleaved closely to the conventional narrative, after all. I know that I won’t buy a three-bedroom semi-detached home in midtown Toronto. I know my relationships and family won’t look conventional. We’re not just outside the box: we left it squished three miles down the road. So if the “should be” isn’t a thing…

What do I actually want?

There’s another poem that speaks to me:

Mine be a cot beside the hill;
A bee-hive’s hum shall soothe my ear;
A willowy brook that turns a mill,
With many a fall shall linger near.

The swallow oft beneath my thatch
Shall twitter from her clay-built nest;
Oft shall the pilgrim lift the latch,
And share my meal, a welcome guest.

Around my ivied porch shall spring
Each fragrant flower that drinks the dew;
And Lucy at her wheel shall sing
In russet gown and apron blue.

The village church among the trees,
Where first our marriage vows were given,
With merry peals shall swell the breeze
And point with taper spire to Heaven.

-Samuel Rogers (1763-1855)

That’s all. That’s it.

Essential. Real. Meaningful.

Maurice Cullen, “Summer Near Beaupre” (ca. 1900).

Just need to keep that close.

-KT

What I’m Listening to This Week

I’ve been working on a thing that’s required a lot of fantasy-style music. Here’s a lively piece from Heather Alexander!

Posted on July 17, 2017, in Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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